Friday, November 23, 2012

Bad Choices

Life is about choices.  Every choice we make creates the lives we live.  In the last 32 years of my life I have made a lot of choices.  Some of them were good ones and a lot of them were bad, but they have created the life I’m living now and I can’t complain.  The good choices brought a lot of happiness, while the bad choices taught me how to fight and survive.  Looking back on the bad choices now I can’t say that I regret any of them.  I made those choices for a reason and even though they made my life harder back then, they have made my life something worth living now.  I could’ve died becomes of some of those choices, but I’m still here and I’m stronger than ever.  That’s all that matters to me.

So many people like to dwell on and judge a person because of their past and it makes me angry.  No one is perfect and I for one don’t pretend to be.  We all have pasts, but the beauty of it is that we all have futures and that’s what counts.  Leave the past behind and make the future the best it can be.  Keep in my mind that if you’re judging someone based on their past, then there’s something in your past that you regret.  You should focus on that and stop worrying about other people.

What bad choices have you made that have made you who you are today?  Are there any that you regret?  I hope everyone is having an awesome Friday!  Don’t forget to be brilliant!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Popsicle Addiction

I’m sitting here waiting on my popsicles to freeze and I’m getting very impatient.  Yes I admit I have an addiction to those little frozen pieces of heaven…especially the grape ones. 
I eat them one after another all day long, but it’s not just because I love them.  I constantly feel hot and dehydrated so my frozen treats help me get through the day. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. They’re super sweet.  I probably should switch to a different kind, before my glucose levels go through the roof.
Does anyone else have weird addictions?  I know I’m not the only one.  I hope everyone is having an awesome day/night.  Don’t forget to be brilliant!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Faith, Hope, Love and Grape Popsicles

I’ve been struggling with my health issues, but other than that things couldn’t be better.  I’m getting my life back on track and I’m so happy about the future.  Faith, hope and love...I finally have all three. My biggest goal right now is to get back on a regular writing schedule.  Ha ha how many times have I said that before?  Yeah I know I deserve a swift kick in the ass, but you know how life tends to happen when you least expect it.  There’s no excuse except for…eh there’s no excuse.  All the time I spend trying to justify not writing, I could be writing.

Well it’s getting late and I have other things to write so this post is going to have to be short, but you can look forward to my next post about my addiction to popsicles…especially the grape ones.  Yes I’m eating one right now…don’t judge me.

Hope everyone is having an awesome night/day!  Don’t forget to be brilliant!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

My Crazy Life

Oh my crazy life.  I never know where I’m going to be or what I’m going to be doing from one crazy moment to the next.  Sometimes it’s crazy fun with people I love and sometimes it’s crazy pain that knocks me on my ass and sometimes it’s just a whole lot of crazy that no one understands.  To be perfectly honest I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Yes the pain part does suck, but I accepted that a long time ago.  Hell it’s been almost 23 years since the pain started.  It’s still hard to believe that 23 years ago I felt absolutely no pain, besides the pain of falling off my bike and then bam it just hit and never went away.  I guess life is just crazy like that.  

You never know what’s going to happen so you have to be ready for anything.  I know this now.  I wasn’t prepared to have a chronic illness.  I would like to meet someone who is.  It’s taken me a long time, but I’m as prepared now as I’m ever going to be.  I take my meds, I do my research, I know what keeps me comfortable and what irritates me when the pain gets too bad and above all I make sure that wherever I’m at I have the resources to deal with a bad pain attack.

My life is crazy and uncertain, but it keeps me entertained.  I laugh through the good times and I laugh through the bad times.  You just have to keep smiling and laughing and eventually the bad things will pass.  Life is what you make it so if you laugh more then you’ll create more happiness and after that anything is possible.

I hope everyone is having an awesome day.  Don’t forget to be brilliant! 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Bring it!

Things have been looking up a little more lately.  I’m feeling a little more in control of my situation and the best thing is that I’m feeling like myself again.  I lost a part of me again in this insane life of mine.  I let the pain beat me down to the point of feeling worthless and unaccomplished.  When I don’t feel like me I don’t feel like writing.  The inspiration and motivation were nowhere to be found.  I just didn’t care about it, but at the same time not writing was only making me feel worse because that’s the one thing I’m determined not to let this monster take from me and I was letting it, without a fight.  I’m back now though and I’m fighting harder than ever.  This is my life and it’s going to be everything I’ve dreamed it could be.  I’m going to go after what I need and then I’m going after what I want.  I’m tired of my illness telling me what I can and can’t do.  I would rather die trying than to live the rest of my life in a corner crying.

I hope everyone is having an awesome day/night.  Don’t forget to be brilliant!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Simply Surviving

It’s after 2 a.m. and I’m still awake.  I hate insomnia with a passion, but at least I’m not in excruciating pain too.  You always have to find the bright side to every bad situation or you’ll never get through them.  My body is used to staying awake because of the pain and now that I’ve gotten the pain under control my body is used to being up all night.  I got so used to the pain that it actually feels weird to be up and functioning instead of being in the usual fetal position.  It just shows how the body and mind are able to adapt to any situation…it’s all about survival. 

Simply surviving is by no means living, but at this point in my life it feels good.  There was a period of time when I didn’t think I was going to make it.  I’m not one to give up, but I couldn’t see the road ahead of me anymore and I freaked out.  All I could see was pain and misery and I didn’t want to live that way, but I couldn’t fix it.  I had been focusing on the impossible…fixing my body.  It wasn’t until I was able to accept being sick that I started to heal.  That’s when I realized that I could only do so much for my body, but I could fix my mind.  The stronger my mind got, the more pain I could handle.  I used to get mad when people would tell me that I just needed to use mind control to handle the pain.  I’ve got mind control down to an art now.  I guess I’ve always used mind control, but it wasn’t till the pain got really bad that I relied on it and found new ways to perfect it.  I still have a lot of growing and adapting to do, but for the first time I feel like I’m on the right path and I can see for miles in front of me.  I still fall down and I still cry, but I get right back up, I wipe away my tears and I keep on fighting.  Basically I do what I have to do to keep on living. 

I’m going to try the sleep thing again so I hope everyone has an awesome day/night.  Don’t forget to be brilliant!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Can You Learn to Trust Again?

How do you recover from being emotionally abused?  Does it ever get easier to trust?  I feel like I’m never going to be able to let my guard down and it’s ruining any chances I have of starting a relationship.  I catch myself being defensive and bitchy when there’s really no reason for it, but it’s because I don’t have the strength to get hurt again and I definitely don’t have the strength to be abused again.  So what do I normally do because of this?  I run like hell as soon as I get too close to someone.  I don’t even know if these guys are lying to me or not because in my head they have and that’s enough to make me run.  How sad is that?!  I can’t believe I’m even admitting this insanity but I know I’m not the only one going through this so I thought I would put my situation out there and see if anyone has an opinion on the subject.  It sucks and it’s lonely and I’m ready to move on.  It’s been almost 2 years and I thought that by now I would be farther along in my healing, but I still have that “I’m gonna get you before you get me” attitude and it has to stop or I’m going to be the crazy cat lady for sure.  Do I get any credit for knowing I’m a total mess?

Anyways I hope everyone is surviving this Monday.  Any and all advice is welcomed and don’t forget to be brilliant.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Quotes and Junk: Achieving Greatness

Realizing our potential is probably one of the hardest things to do in life.  We become our own biggest critics and while the world sees what we’re capable of, we can only see our failures.  I remember how many times I’ve failed, but I can’t remember how many times I’ve succeeded, because in my mind it wasn’t true success…it just wasn’t a big deal because it’s not the ultimate success I’ve dreamed of.  Instead of seeing these little successes as stepping stones to my ultimate success, I see them as just falling short of my dreams and goals in life.  I’m happy about it for a moment, but in the end I find myself disappointed.  I guess it’s just human nature to always want to achieve more…I think that’s what gives us the drive to achieve greatness, but it can also be what destroys everything if we’re not careful.

Here are some of my favorite quotes on recognizing our potential and achieving greatness.

“Our comfort zones can be our greatest enemy to our potential.” ~David Cottrell

“It’s the final steps of a journey that create an arrival.”  ~Sam Parker

“In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.”  ~George Bernard Shaw

“Make it a bad moment, not a bad day.”  ~Katherine Mylius

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”  ~Winston Churchill

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last.  Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”  ~Zig Ziglar

I hope everyone is having an awesome Sunday.  Don’t forget to be brilliant!

Monday, June 4, 2012

The Writer's Block Plague

Can you see the frustration?!

I’m a writer who loves to write, but I’m also a writer who’s going through a phase of not wanting to write.  Oh the irony.  I’ve just been in this funk lately and I can’t seem to find the motivation to accomplish anything.  Deep down I want to write, but when I sit down with my laptop, pen and paper I can’t seem to make anything happen.  I was taught early on that if I had a bad case of writer’s block to just walk away from it for a while, so I took a mini-vacation and intentionally left my laptop at home.  I was hoping that missing it so much would make me go on a writing rampage when I got back.  I’ve been back since Friday and this is the most I have written.  I’m hoping things get better soon.

Life just has a way of getting in the way of your dreams, and I’ll be damn if it takes this one away.  I’ve had to give up a lot of dreams because of my illness and circumstances, but I won’t let this one go.  Writing is my life and it was the one thing that I still had when I had lost everything else.  I’m confident that things will get better and I will be back on a normal writing schedule, without this intense desire to throw my laptop out the window and run naked and screaming down the street.  If you’re getting mental pictures of that now, I do apologize, but that’s your own fault :-p.

I hope everyone is having an awesome day/night. Big hugs and lots of love and of course…don’t forget to be brilliant!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


I’m having one of those days again today.  I just can’t seem to get in the mood to write.  I have so much going on and I feel like things are rapidly getting out of control.  I know I just need to slow down and take things one step at a time, but I still feel overwhelmed. I’ll get over it eventually. My only choice is to keep on keeping on so that’s what I’m going to do.

My life is a very stressful one…chronic illnesses create tons of stress in every area of your life.  When I met my husband I had pain in my legs and sleeping issues, but it wasn’t anything that really stood out or affected my life.  Now I’m single with 2 chronic illnesses that stay out of control most of the time and it makes dating very awkward.  I feel like I might as well have 10 kids with 10 different baby daddies. 

When I’m talking to someone I make sure they know from the very beginning that I’m sick, because I don’t want to get attached and then they run like hell when they find out.  Some guys have told me that they don’t care and they can handle it…they’re gone now.  The ones that stick around are usually the ones who want a booty call every now and then and I’m just not down.  Sick chicks do not make good booty calls.  I don’t care how you look at it…it is just a set-up for a very awkward situation.

My energy is limited and sometimes I have enough to live and that’s it.  Sex used to be important to me, but my priorities and perspectives have changed immensely over the last couple of years.  I need someone in my life that I can lean on when I don’t have the energy to keep going…I don’t need someone who wants to hang out for an hour and then I don’t see them for months.  I’m worth more than that.

I’ve rambled on enough.  I’ll leave ya’ll with a song that I like…It’s dedicated to all the guys who just want booty.  Have an awesome day and don’t forget to be brilliant.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Don't Be Angry...Be Brilliant!

I think it's safe to assume that we all get angry sometimes. Anger can consume us, before we are even truly aware of what's happening. At the time yelling seems like the right thing to do, but most of the time we only end up regretting everything we said. Ironically, we become angry with ourselves for being so angry.

Are you feeling angry today? Let the wise words of Confucious, Benjamin Franklin and a few others put your anger into perspective.

When anger rises, think of the consequences.

The wind of anger blows out the lamp 
of intelligence.

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.
Joan Lunden

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one.
Benjamin Franklin

Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
Elizabeth I

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
Chinese Proverb

One who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.
Japanese Proverb

Never answer a letter while you are angry.
Chinese Proverb

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
Thomas Jefferson

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Josh Billings

Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.
Christian D. Larsen, from The Optimist Creed

It doesn't pay to say too much when you are mad enough to choke. For the word that stings the deepest is the word that is never spoke, Let the other fellow wrangle till the storm has blown away, then he'll do a heap of thinking about the things you didn't say.
James Whitcomb Riley

He who angers you conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny

He who angers you enslaves you.

An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.
Mohandas Gandhi

Don’t be angry…be brilliant!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Quotes on Dealing...with Frustrating People

There are days when I wish I could I just run away to somewhere that I could be alone, have endless privacy and not have to deal with people who drive me absolutely nuts.  I’m going to take a wild guess and assume that, that wish will never come true. Life isn’t easy and some days it feels like it just wants to remind me of that over and over and over again.  I know I’m not an easy person to get along with, but some of the people I have to deal with are impossible.  I’m not sure how they even function.  In a moment of frustration I came across these quotes that are all about having to deal with people that we would rather not have to deal with.

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners.
Lord Chesterfield

To rejoice in another's prosperity, is to give content to your own lot: to mitigate another's grief, is to alleviate or dispel your own.
Thomas Edwards

We are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates.
Denis Diderot

Arguing with a fool proves there are two.
Doris M. Smith

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few;
and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence.
George Washington

Look to be treated by others
as you have treated others.
Publius Syrus

Success in life, in anything,
depends upon the number of persons
that one can make himself agreeable to.
Thomas Carlyle

Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in this life.
Jean Paul Richter

I hope everyone is having an awesome night.  Don’t forget to be brilliant!

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