Thursday, January 28, 2010

Keep On Keepin' On

We all face situations in our life that are unexpected, unplanned and sometimes downright scary. Our first response, after a total breakdown is to go into total denial. We act like everything is okay when in fact we feel like we’re dying inside. Then we find a few close friends or family members to confide in and all of a sudden this horrible situation doesn’t seem so big. We have support. We have someone to talk things out with and we gain the strength and courage to move forward.

Things are not always as bad as they seem. I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I don’t think I would be the person I am today if I didn’t have Fibromyalgia. We all have our own struggles in life and with the right attitude we can all come out on top. Sometimes it’s hard to see through the pain and frustration, but we have to keep moving forward. We have to keep on keepin' on.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

On the Verge of Social Phobia

I’m not a very social person. It’ not that I don’t want to be, but I find it hard to be social. I don’t have much confidence these days so it’s hard for me to just reach out to people. I’m always afraid that I’m going to say something stupid, get tongue-tied or start stuttering. Online I’m afraid that I will misspell something or just flat out not make sense.

I’ve always been overly concerned about how I say or do things, but over the past couple of years as my Fibromyalgia flares have increased it has gotten so much worse. It takes me 30 minutes just to leave someone a comment on Facebook or Myspace because first I have to think of what to say and then I have to find the right way to say it and then I have to read it 50 times to make sure that it sounds okay and that there aren’t any typos. Is this a normal Fibro thing or am I really losing my mind?

I get so frustrated because I see how everyone else communicates on social networks and forums and I want to be like those people but I just can’t do it. I have to find a way to overcome it because it’s becoming a huge issue with my writing career, which is barely hanging on by thread.

I hope something gives before it drives me crazy. Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Fibromyalgia is a Big Deal

It’s so hard to accept being sick when those around you cannot accept it. I’ve spent the last ten years straddling the fence so to speak when it comes to my illness. I would go through bouts where I told anyone who would listen how I was feeling because I didn’t understand what was happening. As doctor after doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with me I just started lying and telling everyone that I was better. Inside I was dying though. I went back and forth like this until I finally was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia on July 15, 2009. I finally felt justified. I stopped lying about how I felt, but now a new battle had begun.

I finally had a diagnosis, but not one that everyone believed in. I never dreamed of how many skeptics I would face. Some people think I just want attention and others think I’m overreacting. I’m just trying to be understood. Everyone talks about how hard it is to understand Fibromyalgia and those without Fibromyalgia tend to just sweep it under the rug because they don’t want to take the time to try to understand. How do you think we feel? We don’t understand it either, but we have to live with the effects of it every day. We can’t just act like everything is okay because it’s not. We research our condition over and over because we need to try to understand what is happening to us because that’s our only line of defense.

Maybe someday everyone will realize how serious Fibromyalgia really is. It’s not a joke. It’s not a cry for attention and most of all it’s not all in our heads. We’re sick. You don’t have to understand everything about Fibromyalgia in order to show support, because no one really understands everything about it. All we ask is that you try. Most of those with Fibromyalgia who commit suicide do it because they didn’t have the support of their family and friends. Having someone you love and trust tell you that you’re crazy when you know you’re really sick can be devastating.

Please have a little faith in us and support Fibromyalgia Awareness. It really matters to us and if you really care about us, then it should matter to you too.

Total Pageviews