Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Single Again at 30...I Hope I'm Ready for this

It’s hard learning to be single again after being with someone for 9 years.  I was only 21 when I met my husband.  We got married when I was 22 and I thought we were going to live happily ever after.  Now I feel like my entire life has been turned upside down.  How do you say that you’re in love with someone and then cheat.  Obviously there’s something missing if you feel the need to get it from somewhere else.  I can’t forgive him and I know I’ll never forget it.  It wasn’t just cheating.  He lied and made me look like a fool in front of so many people.   How is that love?

I never thought I would be single again at 30.  I’m scared and then on top of everything I still have the Fibromyalgia to deal with too.  It’s so hard to concentrate on taking care of myself with all this going on, but I know I have to.  This all makes me so angry.  It’s not fair and I want my old life back, but I can’t get passed him cheating on me.  I’ll never be able to take him back.  I can’t live with my life with someone who I can’t trust and I’ll never be able to trust him again.

So here I am.  I'm 30, I have a chronic illness and I'm single again.  Who knew my life would end up like this?


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