It’s after 2 a.m. and I’m still awake. I hate insomnia with a passion, but at least
I’m not in excruciating pain too. You
always have to find the bright side to every bad situation or you’ll never get
through them. My body is used to staying
awake because of the pain and now that I’ve gotten the pain under control my
body is used to being up all night. I
got so used to the pain that it actually feels weird to be up and functioning
instead of being in the usual fetal position.
It just shows how the body and mind are able to adapt to any situation…it’s
all about survival.
Simply surviving is by no means living, but at this point in
my life it feels good. There was a
period of time when I didn’t think I was going to make it. I’m not one to give up, but I couldn’t see
the road ahead of me anymore and I freaked out.
All I could see was pain and misery and I didn’t want to live that way,
but I couldn’t fix it. I had been focusing
on the impossible…fixing my body. It
wasn’t until I was able to accept being sick that I started to heal. That’s when I realized that I could only do
so much for my body, but I could fix my mind.
The stronger my mind got, the more pain I could handle. I used to get mad when people would tell me
that I just needed to use mind control to handle the pain. I’ve got mind control down to an art now. I guess I’ve always used mind control, but it
wasn’t till the pain got really bad that I relied on it and found new ways to
perfect it. I still have a lot of
growing and adapting to do, but for the first time I feel like I’m on the right
path and I can see for miles in front of me.
I still fall down and I still cry, but I get right back up, I wipe away
my tears and I keep on fighting. Basically I do what I have to do to keep on
living.
I’m going to try the sleep thing again so I hope everyone
has an awesome day/night. Don’t forget
to be brilliant!
