Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I Don't Know if I'm Ready for This

I never realized I would be going through this so soon after leaving my husband, but I am.  I wasn’t looking to fall in love with anyone, but I think that’s what’s happening.  The only reason I say that I think, is because I’m still in denial.  I know exactly what I’m feeling and it scares the hell out of me. 

It’s so different with him.  It’s like I keep waiting for him to get mad and he never does. It’s been a while and I still get this goofy grin every time I hear his name and especially every time he calls or texts.  He always seems to say the right things and so far he accepts that I’m sick.  I guess that’s the biggest thing.  That’s the one thing I worry about.  I don’t know if it got to a more serious point if he could actually handle my illness.  It’s one thing to hear about it, but to actually witness the effects of it is a totally different story.  I guess only time will tell with that. 

Life is so funny.  It always seems to go from one extreme to another.  It drives me crazy, but keeps me entertained at the same time.  I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be.  I hope everyone has a great Wednesday.

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