So here it is…the cold hard truth. The irony is that the people this is
addressed to will probably will never see this because they don’t care enough
about me to be a true part of my world. There
are so many little things that would have meant the world to me, but they never
tried until they needed something from me and by then it didn’t matter.
If you weren’t there for me when I needed you, then you don’t
get to be here now. If I sound like a
bitch then so be it. There were so many
nights that I reached out to you, which was so hard for me to do, and you left
me hanging. I was in pain and in a dark
place and you ignored me. I loved those
texts 3 days later that you sent to check on me. What an awesome friend you are! I could have been dead, but luckily I’m a lot
stronger than I gave myself credit for.
The part that hurts is that I was always there for you. I always listened
to you when you wanted to bitch about work or family issues or whatever. Every time you texted or called I got right
back to you. It wasn’t until I stopped responding that you started caring. Then you started making an effort. I have a huge heart so if you’ve pushed me to
ignoring you then you have really hurt me and it’s going to take a lot more
than a weak “I’m sorry” to fix it.
I’ve changed so much over the last year because that’s what
extreme pain does to you. You either
change the way you think and the things you do or you die. I don’t want to die so I’m going to keep
fighting. Those of you who couldn’t be
there for me when I was learning how to deal with the pain, don’t get to follow
me into my new life because you weigh me down too much and I don’t have the strength
to carry you anymore. I always made you
a priority and you always made me an option.
This is something you have to deal with now because I’m done.
I wish you all the very best and someday I may let you back
in, but that’s going to be my choice not yours.
You’re power over me is gone.
This is my life and I’m going to live it to the fullest along with the
people who have been there for me and didn’t hesitate to pick me up every time
I fell. I’m moving on now…I have to go
be brilliant ;-).
