I let my illness control my
life for so long that I became comfortable with letting it do so. If I was afraid to do something then I would
convince myself that my illness wouldn’t allow me to do it. This became my comfort zone. This is where I was more content. I stopped actively pursuing my dreams because
I didn’t want to fail. The thought of
failure terrified me. It was easier to
blame everything on my illness and hide from the world.
This place I was in, my
comfort zone, became extremely lonely. I
was safe from failure, but I had no fulfillment in my life. Every day was the same as the one before. I was stuck in a rut, a routine that I hated,
but I stayed there because I knew what to expect from it and that gave me
comfort. At that point in my life it was
better to stay in that comfort zone and be miserable than to risk the heartache
of failure. I can’t do this. I can’t do that. I can’t….I can’t….I
can’t. This became a huge part of my
vocabulary and of my life.
I convinced myself that I
couldn’t do things without even trying to do them. I made excuse after excuse until I
experienced the one thing I was trying to avoid…FAILURE. I felt like a failure. I felt that I didn’t have anything to show
for my life. I had done absolutely
nothing. I decided right then that I
would rather try something and fail rather than never trying at all. Read More...
