I’m too exhausted to write anything that may be halfway worth reading so I’m going to share a few quotes that I found over the weekend that I really liked.  The first one is a saying I got off of someone’s Facebook status and I thought it was freaking awesome.  It’s something that we should all remember when we’re in those pissy, bitchy moods.  The rest are just random quotes about writing.

Breaking News: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move the fuck On, Crashing into we All Have Problems, Before coming to a complete stop at Get the Hell Over It. Reporting LIVE from Quitchur Bitchin'.

"Sure, it's simple, writing for kids . . . . Just as simple as bringing them up." Ursula K. LeGuin

"The mere habit of writing, of constantly keeping at it, of never giving up, ultimately teaches you how to write."  Gabriel Fielding

“We don't write what we know.  We write what we wonder about."  Richard Peck

"Talent is helpful in writing, but guts are absolutely essential."  Jessamyn West

Hope everyone has survived this Monday so far. Have a great night and always remember to be brilliant!

Most of the time, the only person holding us back from our dreams is ourselves.  It’s time for me to have faith in myself and play with the pros.  I’m never going to get anywhere if I let fear and insecurity guide my way.  Writing is a hard gig to make a full time living on, but it’s possible and that’s what I want to do.  FYI…A job as a freelance writer is not an easy job, like many people make it out to be.  Anyone who writes to make money knows how hard it is.  What you write has to be perfect, there has to be a market for it and your submission has to stand out from thousands of others.  It’s not easy, it’s time consuming and the pay is not always great. 

I’m ready to let go of my fear and make myself known.  It’s going to be a hard journey, but at least I’ll know that I’m doing something with my life.  I may be taking baby steps towards my dreams, but for once, I’ll be heading in the right direction.

The pain is never-ending

Relentless, unforgiving

Throbbing, stabbing, burning

So tired of suffering

But there is no other choice

There is no cure

All this to endure

Nowhere to hide

Anxious to confide

To anyone, anywhere

This isn’t fair

But it is what it is

Maybe someday you will care.

The pain gods are angry and apparently so are the formatting gods.  I’ve had some trouble with formatting the last couple of posts.  I’m not sure why, but if you noticed I am aware of the situation.  Hopefully I won’t have any trouble with this one.

Today has started off fairly descent. The pain is pretty bad, but my mind is a lot clearer than it has been so that makes for a much better day.  So now I’m off to see what I can accomplish today.

Hope everyone has an awesome day. Be brilliant!

I wake-up at the same time almost every day, which is very early, even when I fall asleep late or when I barely sleep at all.  I take care of the responsibilities that I’m physically and mentally capable of and then I beat myself up for the things I’m unable to do.  I was told again that I just have to push myself.  I start pushing myself the moment I wake-up.  I have to push myself to take a shower, to get dressed, brush my teeth, do my hair and make-up, clean the house, work…I have to push myself just to live.  I don’t take anything for granted anymore.  All these things I used to do without even thinking and now just to take a shower I have to make sure I have enough energy so that I don’t fall.  I’m no longer able to shave my legs every day or fix my hair. These things take energy that I need so that I can do something else so they’re only done when absolutely needed. My house isn’t spotless, but I do the best I can.  While cleaning I have to decide if the pain is really going to be worth it or if my time would be better spent resting so that the pain doesn’t get out of control.  This all depends on how mentally strong I am.  If mentally I can handle the pain, then I’ll probably over-do it and get most everything done.  If my mind is weak then I’ll take it easy until it’s stronger because I’ve learned that I can go from being happy to wanting to die in a very short amount of time.

My point to all this is to never tell someone with a chronic illness that they just have to push themselves to get things done.  You have no idea what’s going on inside their mind and body.  It seems like an easy solution to you, but it’s one we already use.  If we didn’t push ourselves then we wouldn’t be here anymore.

I woke up to another day of serious pain, ugh!  I can look at it this way though, at least I woke up.  You always have to find the bright side of things even though sometimes you have to search a little longer to find it. 

I took valerian root to help me sleep last night.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Last night it didn’t work.  I finally fell asleep in pain, I had nightmares about being in pain and then I woke up in pain.  I’m glad I don’t have days like this very often…not this bad anyway.

Anyways…this is probably going to be a very long day, but I will survive as I always do and hopefully I will manage to even get something done in the process. 

Hope everyone has a productive day! Be brilliant!

Awe this thing called love.  What the hell is it exactly?  I have no idea.  I thought I did at one point, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t.  I guess when I actually find true love then I’ll know what I’ve been missing.  That is if I ever find it.  I’m really beginning to wonder these days.  I’ve made a decision that I’m going to stop worrying about dating and finding the one and focus more on finding myself.  I’m tired of all the BS.

I need to focus on my career and my health before there’s nothing left of me.  All I’m doing is trying to find someone to save me when I should be trying to save myself.  I was wondering when I would finally snap out of it and get into the right mindset.  I’m setting goals this week and I’m finally going to start working towards them.  This is my life.  If I fail it’s no one’s fault but my own.  I don’t want to fail.  I don’t want my lack of self-confidence and my illness to win. So here’s to finding myself, because it will only be then that I find the true love and happiness that I’ve been searching for all my life. 

Hope everyone has had an awesome day!  Be brilliant!