Facebook has become my safe place to express my feelings
about being sick because more than half of my friends on there know what it’s
like to live with a chronic invisible illness. Most of my friends on Facebook
have either Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, ME, Rheumatoid Arthritis,
Lyme disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Lupus and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. (I know
there are more, but my mind went blank.) Some of them, like me, have two or
more.
When I started Facebook it was just like any other social network,
but over the last two years it has turned into a support group that has gotten
me through so many bad days. It’s hard
not to feel crazy when you have one of these illnesses because the symptoms can
be totally off the wall, so when you have so many other people who talk about
feeling exactly the way you do it helps to ease your mind and lets you know
every day that you’re not alone in this battle. Especially when you have so
many people in your life who don’t believe that you’re really that sick and
that exercise is all you need to live a normal life. My question for them is if
exercise is going to save me then why did I ever get sick in the first
place? I was an extremely active kid and
as I got older I worked out almost every day.
I was skinny remember? It wasn’t
until I started getting sicker that I started slowing down. You try living normally when it feels like
you’re body is giving up.
I tell people that if they really want to get to know me
then just had me on Facebook. Look at my
status updates and my wall posts and you will understand my world a little
better. If you really pay attention then
it will be easy for you to see why I get angry, sad and sometimes want to give
up. This life isn’t an easy one, but
it’s mine and if you really get to know me then you will see that I do
everything in my power to make it the best it can be. You think I dwell on being sick when actually
my actions are all about being understood and learning to live despite being
sick.
The greatest thing I’ve learned in this journey is that the
physical pain may be constant, but the emotional pain doesn’t have to be. I can still live…I can still be happy…I can
still be me-I’m just me with Fibromyalgia now and that’s okay with me. It’s all part of the master plan. If you want me to deny that I’m sick and
pretend like I can do everything you can do then there’s no place for you in my
life anymore. Denying that I’m sick is
denying who I am and I won’t do that for anyone. I refuse to lose myself again.
So for all those special people not only on Facebook but in
my life…you know who you are…thank you for just letting me be me and not ever
questioning the way I live my life. It’s
because of all of you that I can continue to move forward and grow.
I hope everyone has an awesome day. Be brilliant!
